From birth to adolescence, children develop physically, socially and emotionally. When a child is in infancy or early childhood, it is developmentally appropriate to see a meltdown over a dropped ice cream or a broken toy. However, when children reach school age, parents and caregivers may feel overwhelmed when their child has frequent outbursts. It is essential to know that emotional regulation skills develop into adulthood.
Some children require additional support to communicate their emotions and use regulation strategies to calm themselves down. Children with a diagnosis, such as ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder, may also find it difficult to control impulses and manage their emotions. The ability to self-regulate is a skill that is taught and modelled all throughout life, but is especially important in the early years of childhood.
Emotional regulation is associated with many other life skills and areas. This includes an improved sense of self, improved relationships with others, and improved ability to work. Children with good emotional awareness and understanding are more likely to bounce back from challenges and be able to control their impulses when faced with strong emotions such as anger, frustration or excitement.
Parents and caregivers have numerous opportunities to promote healthy emotional regulation development in children at home. Discover 10 effective strategies for nurturing your child’s understanding and development of emotional regulation skills:
- Validate and name the emotion. Your child will want to feel heard when they are experiencing a big emotion. “I hear you” or “I can see you are angry right now” can go a long way in supporting a child to feel heard and validated, and it might be a helpful strategy to de-escalate the situation.
- Model your emotions. One of the most powerful ways to improve your child’s emotional regulation skills is for parents and caregivers to model their own emotions around the house. This may be as simple as “I’m feeling stressed after a long day of work, I’m going to have a cup of tea to help me relax”. Statements like these can help your child understand that emotions are welcome in the house – and naming an emotion can help to tame it!
- Create a toolbox of emotional regulation strategies with your child. Fidgets, drawing, journaling, exercise, headphones, massages, mindfulness and the list goes on. In moments of calm, start by collaboratively creating a toolbox of strategies that align with the interests of your child and that may be a good source of comfort in an emotional outburst.
- Wind down after school. The school-age years can be overwhelmingly busy with extracurricular activities or homework requirements. Make sure there are some days where nothing is scheduled to reduce the risk of burnout and overwhelm, or at least try to add some rest breaks in between tasks.
- Practice mindfulness and breathing. Mindfulness supports kids to focus on the present. There are many fantastic apps and resources out there including the Headspace app and The Mindfulness Teacher on Youtube. Deep breathing supports children to calm down by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which promote relaxation and reduces stress hormones.
- Stay calm! This is a tricky one but holds vital importance. It may take time and practice, but parents and caregivers should stay calm when their child is having an emotional outburst. Take time to manage your own stressors so that you can be there to support the stressors of your child.
- Recognise effort and praise. Help your child feel supported and valued by recognising small effort to express and communicate their emotions with others.
- Teach the basics of the brain. School-aged children may have more interest in how the brain works and which part of the brain plays an important role in emotional responses and impulse control. There are many fantastic youtube videos which explain the brain in an engaging way to school-aged children.
- Reduce unnecessary demands. Reducing unnecessary demands for school-aged children helps alleviate stress and overwhelm, allowing them to focus more effectively on learning and overall well-being.
- Manage sleep levels and diet. Sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet can all have a large impact on emotional regulation in both children and adults!
If you would like to learn more about emotional regulation development in school-aged children and how we can help your child, please call us on 9913 3823 or email hello@occupationaltherapy.com.au.
